It is called "The penis chronicles and other random observations." Yes, you read it right. 'The penis chronicles.' This book contains, indeed, all you need to know about the penis, although not anatomically speaking. Its insecurities, its needs, the way we, women respond to it, and so on. In a debut book that will, without any doubt, glue you to the pages, Australian author Cheryl Van Hoorn will tell you all about the legendary male organ that commands men's lives and fascinates those of women.
Here is how it all begins:
THE
DIVINITY OF THE PENIS
Penis,
penis, penis, penis! There, I’ve said it. I am placing the penis on notice,
right here, right now, front and centre. I am declaring that there is a
Divinity of the penis.
The
seeds of this rather inopportune sentiment were planted while I was growing up
on the heels of my mother’s well-worn shoes as she walked my sister and myself
from one end of Hurstville to another. Throughout these walks mum would tell
stories. She had a gift for words (something she passed to me) and her constant
chatter did not require a reply. She talked to us of Kings and Queens in the
past, of the politics of the day and what the woman on the corner was doing now
to piss her off. But mostly she spoke to us about the penis.
We
were cautioned here; it was a dangerous thing and not something that could be
taken lightly. It was both a weapon and a tool and it scared the bejesus out of
my mother as well as myself. I believed the words that came from her mouth.
Mind
you I believed her when she told me that I would get pregnant if I drank out a
green straw.
This
belief regarding the penis placed me in an oddly myopic position as I grew up.
It coloured the way in which I observed the adult world I was about to enter. A
world where men lived with their penis and wanted THE SEX.
Growing up in a house with a mother and a
sister and rarely seeing the patriarch of the house gave me no point of
comparison. Of course I had a normal interest in this implement, a curiosity
that was sated by the fact that I chose one of the few legitimate professions
where I was able to view the penis frequently. I became a Nurse.
The
not so humble penis is the centre of a man’s being. The orientation of life.
For them anyway. Women are really sure it is not.
This
is not something that woman talk about this in so many words however it is
present in the side slip of gentle conversation; engaged in the tales told by
mothers in the schoolyard while waiting for offspring and those mothers with
friends who have sons. From this it is not difficult to see that males have a
singular point of worship: their penis.
This
was demonstrated to me in hard terms early one morning.
I have no doubt that by now you are curious to see what follows. For those eager to keep going, the book is available for sale in both hard copy and in E-book format. Click HERE for the purchase link.
About Cheryl:
Cheryl was born and bred in Australia and grew up
against the 70’s and 80’s learning her lessons in life at her mother’s heels
along with a disenfranchised youth.
Cheryl entered the University of Sydney to
complete a diploma of applied sciences, Nursing. Upon graduation she
commenced work on a kidney ward leading to some of the most gratifying work in
her life and delivering to her a husband and two sons.
Cheryl is now the owner/editor of Tweaking MADD
and is currently completing a Bachelor of Communication with a double major in
Film Studies and Creative Writing while being owned by three fractured cats and
two dogs.
*****
ENJOY THIS FABULOUS BOOK!
