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Published author and book nerd, I write and review romance novels.

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

The pursuit of happiness

It is often said that happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length. Most of us live with the perception that happiness is a temporary state, here today, elusive again tomorrow. I often wondered if, by sticking to this belief, we are actually shaping our future into one of doubt and denial.

Happiness does have a beginning, but its end is entirely dependent on our willingness, or the lack thereof, to preserve it. It is, indeed, a state that we can manipulate ourselves, for it is not conditioned upon our circumstances, but it is the result of good conscience, good health, occupation and the freedom that we grant ourselves. The latter is a state that is highly contingent upon our willingness to fight. More often than not, we choose to be imprisoned in a cage of dependency, compromise and limitations. We unhappily nurture dysfunctional relationships, we hold onto unsatisfying jobs and questionable habits. We constantly dwell on the past and are driven by the anxious dependence upon the future.
But if we open our eyes, we will see that everything, even darkness and silence, has its wonders. We do have the power to extract happiness from common things.  Happiness is an inside job. Its secret is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life.
To me, happiness doesn’t translate into riches or possessions. It lies in the knowledge and satisfaction that all the bitterness and trauma of my past were a necessary devil that shaped me into what I am today; that I am a formidably strong woman, because I managed to survive.
It lies in waking up every morning next to my husband, to look into his eyes and see unmeasurable love, to return it to him just as much. To check my email and find a love letter from him. To read in it that to him, I am the most beautiful woman on earth. To revel in the simple miracle that I have a lifetime ahead of me with him by my side. To be able to tell him ‘I love you’ at any given time and place.
During the past 45 years I went to hell and back many times. It took me that long to learn that happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. It is the experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.
Lillian Summers
Author of contemporary romance novel 'Follow the white pebbles' and paranormal romance 'Mindbender'




  1. I read what my wife wrote here. Yes, she is as intelligent as she writes. This woman is more amazing than cold fusion. Most super-high intelligent women are arrogant. Meanwhile, my wife is the nicest person ever.

  2. Happiness in general is built on the satisfaction of reasonable expectations. Happiness in marriage is a team effort. Each partner brings their own strengths and weakness to the union and happiness is achieved by growing to fill the gaps. Fifty-one years ago my wife and I were entirely different people to what we are now and each owes to the other for the growth since then. We have not always been happy. Life isn't like that, but our mutual love always returns us to that state. Good luck with yours!